Sometimes, we tend to forget the simple joys of living. Never forget to live. Life isn’t that complicated.

With this I would like to thank all those wonderful people who has been with me ever since. Though there were times life seems too much for me, they never fail to bring me back up and fight. Honestly, these past few weeks had been really hard. But they were there; to give me hope, to bring back the smile, to remind me of how I should live another day.

Everything you all did means a lot. Again, thank you. You know who you are.

It’s always darkest before the dawn and the sun is on its way.

In acts of depression and desperation, a young soul tried finding his way in any means possible. With strangers in the night, in the dark, below a dying tree or a small rented space of an apartment complex. The afterglow releases his pain in the form of a 10-second release, and a tired, sweaty body. It was bliss while it lasted but it’s everything he could have been avoided. Pain always finds its way back, in any form possible. The torture of the memories and the imprints of what they left.

The four corners of the setting sun and the unredeemed past are acting like silent killers. No signs and symptoms but it’s there. They bring forth an immortal suffering; a life lesson learned at the age of twenty.

The rain will come with the promise of nothing. It’s an idealistic compromise that is within the bounds of playing safe. It has been weeks since that sudden confession; in the form of words carved with a truthful mind and a hoping heart. In a piece of paper lies a truth that has always been the truth. Nothing less, nothing more.

And though it kept these brown eyes alive, there may be a time that giving up will be an option. There were no exchange of words; it was a one way trip to a broken heart no amount of alcohol can heal. There’s no going back. It was a risk. With a deep breath and uncertainty, it was done. And there was nothing from you. No reactions, nothing at all.

Realization. It’s these feelings’ repose. A passive-active state of motion with no reconsideration. And I see there’s nothing more to it. Everything’s for the sake of saying those things. And though these will be left undone, I only hope for the best of the both of us. I’ll smile and look forward to a different sky. All will remain in my heart, those bittersweet memories of a friendship I call my best. I will always be that friend you can lean on, the one that will never leave you. And in this chaos, I will put the pain aside.

Because I always liked you. But I’ll always be just a friend, a mere keeper of your secret.

Appreciate the most littlest of things; the splendor of a kite tangled between the maze of steel of an old water tank, a message written in red ink saying he loves you. The luckiest sand caught between your toes among those billions of grains. A photograph, a minute of holding your hand. Maybe those are everything you can hold onto when everything falls apart, when everything was really nothing to that person.
Someday, when hope is gone and love never did existed, play that particular song. Let the melody and the lyrics find their way into your soul, be one with it, take a deep breath, and realize that nothing else compares. Nothing else compares.

And before calling it quits, try sowing a handful of seeds on precipitated sulfur. Maybe, however impossible, a flower might bloom. A lavender, a white oleander, or something more beautiful, a flower no one knew of.

But what is the truth if you don’t know it in the first place? It keeps you hanging onto something. To love or pain. These are perks of being clueless and knowing nothing; just go with its flow.

The truth is one of the hardest things a person needs to accept. People can hide and run from it, live by it but turn a blind eye but, eventually, it will always come after them. It’s one of those things that could give an impact into one’s being. And no matter how much blissful ignorance can be, it will always be on a standstill at the back of the mind, like a contract carved in stone.

It’s a silent killer. When it starts to sink in, it will be in miniscule portions, in gradual downpour to the point that it could cause some breaking. Slowly into the heart; it’s an agonist of serious abnormality; palpitations, irregular heartbeat, a monopoly of cardiac disagreement. Then, it will attack the mind, with it’s power to rule the conscious and the subconscious; into dreams to the moment of waking up.

Simply, the truth hurts. It almost always does. It’s a simple logic but a complicated calculation to contain. It’s unbearable, deadly. And its pain becomes more untolerable each passing day.

An old flame rekindles from within, a glow once has faded, a death experiencing a rebirth. It’s not what the heart wants but it’s anxiety makes an impact. A rush of blood flowed through the veins and the circulation almost stopped. It’s the smell of sweat, the screaming and shouting but still, the rush. There’s no escaping what was in the past; the gut feeling, the euphoria of orgasm, and the bitter aftertaste of remorse.

It’s the fireflies of summer coming from the shores, a lighthouse with its beam of light, lost souls in the midnight, an awakening no one anticipates. It’s a battleground. Be ready, be safe, protect yourself and your non-existent future children.

Those feelings were long dead and everything is just gone. If there was a time we shared, where there were rainbows and a slow motion of a run to the horizon, well, those are just memories.

If it’s hard for you and it drains you to the core, why won’t you let it go? It has been more than a year, and here you are persistent in trying to make everything work for you. Why can’t you see that it doesn’t and it never will? Things change, along with people and feelings. Acts of desperation will need you nowhere, a waste of life.

So go on and live yours; you won’t find one in me.

The half moon casts a drowsy spell on the people you love, the people who matters the most. With its blessing comes a sadness that is rooted within you.

The unselfish act of letting go provides two simultaneous sentiments; unrequited joy for the person, and a definite uncertainty. The reasonable capabity, what was left of the fire. Soots of black is tainted against the skin, a representative of the masked pain. Running away. A partial drift will definitely occur and doubt will arise. It’s a time of grief, a time to choose the better decisions.

Soon, these blunders will subside. What was an act of thoughtlessness will be another step for a better choice. No one needs to feel indifferent, no one needs to feel awkward. No matter how it hurts or how it affects whoever or whatever, it’s really how the human nature goes.

As the full moon makes its way with its movement, so does everything underneath it. A constant of change.

Beneath the blanket of space, a young man looks up just to catch a rare sight of a falling star. The moon wanes and the sky’s filled with unusually countless stars. Though under all this glitter, there is remorse; a burden is cast upon him, and what time he will endure may seem endless.

In the days that will come, this one particular priority is at hand. The people around him may think that they might help but what they don’t know is they’re making it worse. Who thinks of a goddamn schedule? There’s definitely no questioning of their concern. He knows that what they are doing is right, but the pressure given to him is a just too much. He could work on his own, in his own time, in his own way. Yes, he is in dire need of help but not the kind of help these people are offering. A demand which makes him break down and totally lose what’s left of him. He doesn’t want this in the first place but to think of others before himself is really a noble thing to do, considering his capacities.

He didn’t see his falling star, but he hopes further ammendments could be done.